Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Breath Before the Plunge

Tomorrow is my first day of work in Boston.

Let me be clear: I did not want to move to Boston. When I had first started to apply for jobs, it did not occur to me that I might possibly live anywhere but San Francisco. In retrospect, I realize that is because I was (and am) spoiled. I expected a great job to land in my lap without any effort on my part. That was not the case. While I did end up getting a fine job, it was on a different coast than I had anticipated. The wrong coast.

I am writing this in the comfortable bedroom of my aunt’s best friend’s house. She lives in Watertown, which is full of stately, large and old homes. It is here, sitting in this bed, that I have had an idea.

Perhaps I will like the East Coast.
Maybe, I will love it.

For someone who has prided themselves on loving to travel, I have become slightly embarrassed that I was so hesitant and bratty to move. After all, what is moving but an extended traveling vacation? I can remember calling my mother when I got the job offer and telling her, “I hate East Coast people!” I must have sounded like Verruca Salt.

I also don’t know why I said I hated East Coast people. I have met very few of them, and the ones that I have met have all been exceptionally nice and perfectly friendly.

After some reflection, I have realized why I felt so pissed off from having to move.

I had the nagging feeling that I was going to miss out on something.

I get this feeling a lot and not just in regards to party plans. I get it when I look at the Linkedin of someone I knew in college who scored a great job or is doing somehow “better” than me. I get the feeling when I see friends that I’m not really that close with having a great trip and posting pictures on Facebook. This feeling of missing out is based on the following thought process:

Self worth is based not only how well I am doing but how well I am doing in comparison with others.

Even if I did a great job at work and got back into great shape, I would begin to compare these accomplishments to those of my peers – or simply people my own age.

This time in Boston things are going to be different.

In a way, I’m glad Boston is not as competitive as California. This will be good because 1) I won’t feel the pressure to compare myself to people constantly and 2) I am super competitive so it will let me do my own thing without feeling hassled. The other main reason why my experience in Boston is going to be great is because for the second time in my life (the first being study abroad) others are going to feel like I am cashing in and they are missing out.

Feeling like others are missing out on my life allows me to take a step back and realize: Boston was the right choice.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.


Sunday, April 6, 2014

A Messy Start

I never understand why people love to use the phrase: a clean start. Why? What's so clean about starting over?

Therefore, readers, I won't try to and deduce you into thinking that this new chapter of my life will be clean. It most certainly will not. Moving 3000 miles away to a new city for a new job...spending a summer backpacking on another continent...these things will not be simple.

But they will be important.

More to come.